Looney Songbook
by Korora
Summary: Some LTthemed song parodies.  First, Roadrunner Pie


Looney Tunes belongs to Warner Bros. and the tunes to their composers.

"Roadrunner Pie"  
As sung by Wile E. Coyote  
To the tune of "American Pie" by Don MacLean

A not-long time ago  
I chased a roadrunner  
Hungrily mile after mile  
And I knew if I caught the bird  
A fine supper, oh my word  
Would await me and the prospect made me smile  
But he'd outstrip a falcon speeding  
Some assistance I'd be needing  
So I wrote to Acme  
Asking if they'd send me  
Their latest cuckoo-slaying stuff  
(Eating shoes and cans is tough)  
I hoped that it would be enough  
For I'd been foiled again

Oh, I, I would make roadrunner pie  
Were my luck good, you know I would  
Have roadrunner tonight  
I always hope that my triumph is nigh  
Oh, but Murphy thinks I'm special tonight  
Murphy thinks I'm special tonight

Did you know Acme's product line  
Includes a set of bear traps nine?  
I lay them out along the road  
I Acme year-round suet spread  
(The only type that won't go bad  
In the Arizona desert, you know)  
And the Roadrunner he tore along  
Calling "Beep! Beep!" Oops! Traps were set wrong  
I went them to reset  
Did I then slip up? You bet.  
I fell in turn onto each trap  
Which nailed me with a painful snap  
I screamed and howled and kicked and flapped  
Oh curses, foiled again.

And I was singin'  
I, I would make roadrunner pie  
Were my luck good, you know I would  
Have roadrunner tonight  
I always hope that my triumph is nigh  
Oh, but Murphy thinks I'm special tonight  
Murphy thinks I'm special tonight

I was sore and was far from full  
I used that old unreliable  
Known as the Acme cherry bomb  
I set some birdseed where I deemed  
The bomb would land (or so it seemed)  
And I waited 'till Roadrunner came along  
I struck a match, the fuse I lit  
Off the ledge I then dropped it  
I waited for the boom  
That would mark the bird's doom  
But the bomb hit power lines  
And bounced back up, and I'd have tried  
Again if I'd just had the time.  
Kaboom! Oh, foiled again.

I was singin'  
I, I would make roadrunner pie  
Were my luck good, you know I would  
Have roadrunner tonight  
I always hope that my triumph is nigh  
Oh, but Murphy thinks I'm special tonight  
Murphy thinks I'm special tonight

Fuming, fuming, birdie still zooming  
A new idea in my head rooming  
An anvil high it would fall fast  
There was an overhang of stone  
Just over Beep Beep's favorite road  
Anvil would make quite a dent if it was cast  
When that Roadrunner I heard zoom  
I was sure he would meet his doom  
'Twas then I heard the clang  
Anvil'd split the overhang  
Then down I went to the roadbed  
Roadrunner clearly wasn't dead  
The anvil landed on my head  
Oh, curses, foiled again

I was singin'  
I, I would make roadrunner pie  
Were my luck good, you know I would  
Have roadrunner tonight  
I always hope that my triumph is nigh  
Oh, but Murphy thinks I'm special tonight  
Murphy thinks I'm special tonight

So there I was, flat on my face  
I got up; back and forth I paced  
Then a lightbulb shed its light  
This plan I got from Krazy Kat  
I got me an Acme brickbat  
And waited for the bird to come in sight  
As the Roadrunner zipped along  
I drew back and the brick I launched  
I missed; I hit the cliff  
I saw a boulder tip  
Over (in fact, it fell down)  
It fell on me before the ground  
I sound like an accordion now  
Oh, curses, foiled again

I was singin'  
I, I would make roadrunner pie  
Were my luck good, you know I would  
Have roadrunner tonight  
I always hope that my triumph is nigh  
Oh, but Murphy thinks I'm special tonight  
Murphy thinks I'm special tonight

I got another plan quite soon  
The Roadrunner would be through  
I faked a railroad crossing there  
I rang a bell to stop Beep Beep  
And lowered gates -- too late, it seems  
For he ran past and he launched me in the air  
And then the track I hit in pain  
And here came a real train  
But not a word was spoken  
For all my bones were broken  
And the cuckoo that I hunted most  
That should by now have been a ghost  
Was on that train (would he were toast)  
Oh, curses, foiled again

Oh, I, I would make roadrunner pie  
Were my luck good, you know I would  
Have roadrunner tonight  
I always hope that my triumph is nigh  
Oh, but Murphy thinks I'm special tonight  
Murphy thinks I'm special tonight

I was singin'  
I, I would make roadrunner pie  
Were my luck good, you know I would  
Have roadrunner tonight  
I always hope that my triumph is nigh  
Oh, but Murphy thinks I'm special tonight


End file.
